Untimely
by emamula
Summary: Edward comes to Bella's rescue in Port Angeles, but what happens when he shows up just a little late? He manages to protect her, but his rage towards the men and his lust for Bella's blood make him the real danger. How will they handle the consequence? AU
1. Different

**AN: So, I had the pleasure of this swimming around in my head for way too long, so here we go! 'Tis true it's my first story, but I've had some help from friends and the exceedingly fabulous The Romanticidal Edwardian, who put up with my stalker-esque tendencies. Heartsxhugs and a house-elf bow to you!**

**Without further ado, please enjoy the short beginning of ADD plot bunnies!**

Untimely

Chapter 1: Different

**_Near death, last breath  
And barely hanging on  
Would you believe me  
If I said I didn't need you?_**

**_Skeptics And True Believers - The Academy Is..._**

"_I braced myself, feet apart, trying to remember through my panic what little self-defense I knew. Heel of the hand thrust upward, hopefully breaking the nose or shoving it into the brain. Finger through the eye socket – try to hook around and pop the eye out. And the standard knee to the groin, of course. That same pessimistic voice in my mind spoke up then, reminding me that I probably wouldn't have a chance against one of them, and there were four. Shut up! I commanded the voice before terror could incapacitate me. I wasn't going out without taking someone with me. I tried to swallow so I could build up a decent scream…" [Twilight, duh]_

The four men continued their advance, and I pulled myself up to the crest of my limited height. A sadistic urge to laugh ripped through me at the thought of myself attempting to look intimidating. The men paused briefly, furrowed brows directed at my strange outburst.

Suddenly, my mother took the forefront of my mind, talking about how only I could get in trouble while living in Forks. The picture was too easy to conjure, but I cringed from the realization that this wouldn't exactly put Renee in a jesting mood. At least, I hoped my probable demise wouldn't instill laughter. I guess you never knew with my mother…

_Focus,_ I chided myself, scrunched eyes and wrinkled nose summoning more curious looks from my captors. _I will make it out of here. I will make it out of here. I will make it out of here…_ I chanted silently. _I need to make it out of here. For Renee. And Charlie… I mean, the man can't even feed himself. Edward… _

_Whoa. Where did that one come from? _My eyes popped open wide, affirming my apparent insanity to the approaching men. _Well, one of his daring rescues would be appropriate right about now…_ I reasoned, but the reality of my mind held only his face: the beauty of his pale features, a lopsided grin stretching his mouth, bronze hair glinting.

Through all the shifts occurring in my mind, only seconds passed. The men were finally closing in and my grace period was spent. So, with Edward's face filling my head I shut my eyes and just felt around me, sensing where my attackers stood and waiting like some cornered wild animal. Like a spider on her web, I felt one enter my awareness and lashed out before even thinking. My wild kick met a warm, pliable resistance that emitted a pained groan, marking my success. His friends seemed unaffected, however, as I felt another presence, this time flinging a curled hand. My crude imitation of a claw proved somewhat effective despite its lackluster craftsmanship, and my nails scraped down what felt like a doughy cheek. I never imagined I'd be as happy as I was to experience the metallic indicator of blood coating my nasal cavities.

"Bitch!" he snarled, roughly seizing my arm and easily tossing me to the ground.

My arms flew out blindly in an awkward attempt at catching my fall. Pain shot up through my forearms. The balls of my feet scrambled for purchase as I attempted to rise. I'd barely moved when someone harshly grabbed my hair, pulling me back by the scalp. An open palm made vicious contact with my face and I tasted blood, my stomach roiling. But I didn't cry or beg. I refused to give them the satisfaction.

I spit the salty gunk from my mouth, the stream landing somewhere below my line of vision. The man with scratches now slashed across his face again grabbed me by my hair. He forced my gaze to his and leered sloppily, the scratches making the gesture sadistic.

"Nowhere to run, sweetheart." He yanked me towards him, but let go suddenly at the sound of screeching tires. Faster than seemed possible, the driver was out and upon us.

"Let her go!" he snarled. I knew that voice. Even saturated with unrestrained fury, it was beautiful.

The next moments were a blur as I huddled on the ground, shaking and trying to clear the blood from my face, only managing to additionally cover my hands. When the screams started, I turned away, crushing my hands to my ears, attempting to muffle the sickening cries.

Abruptly, it was silent. Slowly I rose, turning cautiously. My eyes remained squeezed shut, not sure what I would see. "Edward…" I squeaked, still blind. When I finally opened them, I saw him.

His eyes were black, possibly more so than that day in Biology. Every inch of him was clenched, trying to hold something back, but I witnessed the loss as his fists gradually uncurled and the muscles of his legs shifted to a crouch.

I remained hopelessly frozen, afraid for the first time. It seemed to overflow from me and Edward drank it greedily in big, hungry gulps of air. Before I processed the motion, he sprang, slamming into me with the force of a brick wall. Edward's head disappeared into the crook of my neck as something sliced clean into me, adding to the repulsive scent of blood clouding my senses.

My head smacked against the ground as I tumbled, but the current assault on my neck dulled my notice of it. All the feeling inside me came from the hungry pull on my skin, the metallic scent alerting me to just what I was losing. Each drag of exiting blood left me that much weaker, that much dizzier, and that much closer to death. Yet, all I could seem to think about was the fact that I had been right. Well, kind of. I had been _told_ right, too bad that the confirmation was tied to my immediate demise. The cloudiness in my mind expanded to the point that I was mostly gone, uttering one word as my eyelids dragged over the orbs:

"Edward."

Then, the pulling ceased**;** utter joy filled my gut at the jolt of cold air skirting over the wound. Just in time for fiery pain to wrack through my every limb. I was gone.


	2. Transition

**AN: Here's a short little something. Enjoy, lovelies!**

**This is for McKenzieMac and MissLucyInTheSky, because they made my life.**

Untimely

Chapter 2: Transition

"_There is an engine in my body_

_With every beat, it lets me breathe_

_There is a machine within my body_

_If I can keep up with that machine that's in my body_

_Well, I can do anything, be anything, say anything_

_I can feel the beat within my body…_

_If I gave up on it, could I catch myself?"_

Do What You Do – Cute Is What We Aim For

I never thought of death. Honestly, what was the point? All it did was depress a person, and who needs an unnecessary reason to be sad? Despite this lack of consideration, I was sure of one thing about my circumstances: I wasn't dead. Not yet, at least. It wouldn't be hurting this much for this long. There was more mercy in the world than that…

For what seemed like an immeasurable amount of time I drifted in and out of awareness. These times when I was conscious, the pain feasted on my flesh and I tried to focus on anything other than the flames gorging themselves.

All the distracting noises and feelings were disjointed; they all felt wrong. But I would take whatever I could in my escapism.

The first time I remember waking up, all I felt was cold. So much so that everything ached. But, along with the aching cold, came a merciful dousing of the flames. This was cold the likes of which I'd never experienced in Forks, but I couldn't analyze what that meant before the flames gained strength and my body was suddenly searing. I fell back under.

I can't recall when the murmurings started. There were times when it hurt so bad that I wanted to claw at my own skin, to end the suffering; this was mostly when I heard them. An angel would whisper in my ear, holding my hands down no matter how hard I struggled, promising an end to my agony, apologizing that I was even in this pain. I wanted to comfort my angel. He shouldn't suffer, that felt the very essence of wrong. But I never found the strength to tell him so.

The last memory I had was the strongest. My heart was racing and I couldn't effectively catch my breath, but I heard voices. Two people: one, my angel, and another, a girl, with a voice similar to the angel's.

"You can't just leave, you dolt! She's about to wake up!" the girl hissed.

"Exactly," my angel answered, "Why the hell would she want me of all people here right now? I'm the reason she's like this! How could she _not_ hate me?"

"I know you; you want to be here for her. So just stay."

"Of course I want to be here! If it would help things, I'd stay and apologize do everything I could to help her, but there's no way she'll want me here!"

"For fuck's sake, and we're supposed to be related?" she huffed. "_Someone_, and by that I mean _you_, needs to be here to explain what happened to her! Look, Jackass, it happened. No changing that now. But for all that is sane in this world, how would her waking up, _alone_, help the situation?" her whispers turned more heated towards the end and her eyes had to be blazing.

"Well, good thing she won't be alone."

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No! This is not my job. I'm not the one who screwed up here. Don't give me that look; we all know you screwed up! It's done now, though. As in, time to deal with it. As in, be here to explain what happened to her _because of_ you!"

"If you had just seen this coming earlier, we'd all be fine right now. Instead, because you couldn't stop focusing on Jasper's reactions, I slipped through the cracks."

"That's too low. I know you're hurting, but leave Jazz out of it. In fact, leave all of us out of it. You're just going to make it harder for everyone, _especially_ the two of you. We both know I can't keep you here, but I can tell you that you'll be a real dick if you leave," she bit out.

"Look, I never wanted this. But, now you have a new sister. Maybe that's what you really wanted all along. Forget her humanity; you have a new Barbie doll."

My angel's last outburst was followed by a pained grunt that could only be the result of a swift hit to a certain male anatomical region.

The absurdity of the whole exchange brought an enthusiastic laugh from me, one which didn't stop. Everything I'd been feeling, the pain, the fear, the confusion, all fled from me in this laugh. I kept going, and my heart sped on with me, flying faster until the pain rivaled that of the flames, only this was tinged with an all-too-pleasant euphoria. And still my heart persisted. _Maybe this is it_, I thought as my heartbeats reached a crest. _Thank you, my angel._

The muscle stopped.

**AN: Review because you loved it. Or I'm amazing. Or you just feel like it. They're like drugs.**


	3. Resurrection

**AN: Ummm yeah… Today's Monday. I wanted this up by Sunday. Woops? I just couldn't write anything for the longest time, and rather than half-ass it I wanted to wait for it to come back to me… Which it finally did. Still not too long, I'm afraid. But it is an improvement!**

**This chapter goes to MissLucyInTheShy and McKenzieMac, 'cause they're awesome and consistently review for me (feeding my addiction like notin' else :]), and also to… twilighters-anonymous! She made me laugh hysterically, and that was definitely the most flattering death threat I've ever received! Oh, and my beta The Romanticidal Edwardian. She be cool.**

**As for the rest of you who have me on alert, favorite, or are just reading and not reviewing? Tsk, tsk. I want to hear from ya!**

**Anyways, enjoy lovelies!**

Untimely

Chapter 3: Resurrection

"_Welcome to the planet_

_Welcome to existence_

_Everyone's here_

_Everyone's here_

_Everybody's watching you now_

_Everybody waits for you now_

_What happens next?"_

Dare You to Move – Switchfoot

My eyes felt overly sensitive and heavy. The whole world was amplified. And I was noticing everything. The smell of pine and snow, the slightest draft blowing through the room, the light surrounding me, the sounds barreling into my ears, I could feel it all.

And my throat _burned_.

I refused to open my eyes for fear of what I would see. I couldn't remember anything concrete, but I heard someone shift in the room.

Then I was hit by one particular smell that snapped my eyes open and heightened the flame in my throat. My body clenched with need, but before I could move a lidded cup was thrust towards me. And from it_ that smell _was emanating. My mouth greedily reached for the straw poking out and pulled the liquid from its container. I drained it hungrily. Then went another. And finally one more. The ache of my throat lessened by the cup, ebbing gradually but still omnipresent. Only then did I have enough control to look up.

The girl, sitting a tentative distance away from me, gazed with large amber eyes while nervously adjusting her clothing. The small frame and short, dark hair pleaded with my conscious to remember them.

"Hey, Bella," she said softly with an awkward wave of her hand. I breathed in to attempt a reply and the burn picked up. "Try to limit your breathing. It'll help."

I did as she advised, and the flames receded.

Abruptly a spring seemed to uncoil in my mind, and the memories came flooding back. I still had no idea where I was or what really happened, but some of thefrightened tension released.

"Edward…" It came out as more of a question than I'd originally intended. _Limit your breathing._

Her eyes briefly flashed with anger, darkening to ochre, before she answered, "He's not here…" mumbling, "Dick."

My brow furrowed and my teeth gnawed my bottom lip. "Alice…" she nodded tentatively, "Um, what, uh, happened? How'd I get here?" _Limit your breathing._

"What exactly do you remember, Bella?"

"I remember… those guys following me, and, uh, trying to fight back. Then Edward showed up. From there it gets a little… imaginative. I must have hit my head or something." _Limit your breathing._

"Or something…" Alice breathed. "What did Edward do?"

"I know he went after them. And then he looked at me, and he looked… terrifying…" I choked. Alice continued to gaze expectantly at me, but I resisted. "The rest is just… insane. I could've sworn he _bit_ me." My hand briefly rose to search across my neck, and then… I felt it. "Th-that wasn't a dream, was it?" I gasped frantically feeling the slightly raised crescent shape with prodding fingertips. My eyes were wide, I was gasping for breath and my thoughts flew at a dizzying rate. "I… I should go. Charlie…"

"Bella, you can't. I'm sorry," Alice whispered.

"But, he'll be wondering where I am… He's got to be worried!"

"I know, Bella, but you _need_ to stay here."

"No, you're not making sense." B**y** this time I was manic. "I have to go." Faster than I should have been, I was standing looking out an open doorway. Looking out at nothing but snow; snow in the trees, on the ground, falling through the air. Nothing but white. _Nothing_ like Forks.

And then I noticed my hand, gripping a now crunched doorknob of a door no longer in contact with its hinges.

I shrieked and dropped the door like it was smoldering. "I-I just… broke it."

"It's okay, Bella, we can fix it -"

"No, Alice. _Why_ can I break the door? I shouldn't be able… I shouldn't… Oh!" With another blurred movement I stood in front of a small window in the room, gazing at a crude version of my reflection. But most of the changes were obvious.

I was beautiful. Pale, flawless, and haunting; all the qualities I'd noticed in Edward's family. But it was the _eyes_. They were blood red and crazed; animalistic, savage, and altogether terrible. I sobbed dryly at the reflection I didn't recognize, the reflection that made me shiver and cringe away from myself.

"Alice, what _am_ I?"

"You're one of us, Bella," she winced.

And when I remembered what that meant, the last of my composure fled. "I… We… He… Wha-" I kept getting dizzier as my mind's speed increased until everything blurred. My knees hit the floor and Alice's arm circled my waist, holding me steady. "No. I can't be… It's not possible…" I whimpered, completely drained.

"Bella, I'm sorry. You're a… Well…"

"Just say it, Alice. Just… I need to hear it out loud," I breathed quietly.

"You're a… vampire, Bella," she massaged the back of my scalp as the dry sobs overtook me once again.

After slightly calming myself, I lifted my unnaturally dry eyes to meet hers. "What happens now, Alice?" All ability to process or make decisions for myself was missing, and with the comfort Alice was giving me, I felt closer to her than would be usual for how long I'd known her. She just continued to soothe me with her touch, rubbing my back in relaxing circles.

"I don't know, Bella. But, you just need to stay here for now."

"How long has it been since…?"

"Three days."

"What does Charlie think happened?" M**y** heart tugged thinking of my likely frantic father.

"We left a note saying you'd run away, but he's been looking everywhere for you. He doesn't believe you'd really leave. With good reason, I suppose. You should at least stay here with us for a while. We wouldn't hold you against your will, of course, but it's useful to have help so early on… Or so I imagine, at least."

I smiled fractionally at her kindness and concern, but I still had questions. I disentangled myself, rocking backwards to sit on the floor. "Where exactly is 'here', Alice?"

"Alaska. Remote Alaska. You-won't-even-find-a-freaking-Eskimo-here Alaska."

I sputtered out a laugh, before considering why I had to be here. "As far as diet goes…" I started, nervously chewing my lip. I suppose some habits were unbreakable. "What I just drank… that was…"

"Yes. Bella, my family and I live an extremely strict life style, of course we won't expect you to…" she noted my blank expression, "You have no idea what I'm talking about, huh?" My hair swished over my shoulders with my head, side-to-side. "Bella, we've all made a decision, one that sets us apart from the rest of our… kind," she stumbled momentarily over my tense at the mention of _others_, "We don't feed on humans, only wildlife. Fancy ourselves vegetarians." She briefly smiled a toothy grin. "However, it's completely up to you. It's really difficult, and takes a long time to even grow accustomed to-"

"No, no, Alice! I want that. _So_ much. I don't want to be a… um…"

"Monster. We're big, bad, and scary, it's cool. Well, not so much big, in my case." _God, her teeth are shiny._

"What did you give me, then?"

"Elk. Tasty, huh?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Then, Edward…?"

"It was an accident, not supposed to happen. He just… lost control. But, that's his story to tell." She looked at her lap sadly.

"Is he coming back?"

"I don't know," she said with a voice that screamed silent tears. "The whole family's coming up in the next few days, though. Carlisle doesn't want questions about my and Edward's whereabouts. And then you can officially meet Jasper! And Emmett and Rose, of course," she cheered slightly at the thought, but still appeared crestfallen.

"I can't let you do that! You shouldn't all move to the middle of nowhere for me. I mean, what about school and work and…"

"Bella, absolutely none of that is an issue. Carlisle has been around for over 300 years," my eyes bugged, "And even the measliest of paychecks add up over time, and he's a _doctor_. So, money and work? Pshhaw." She giggled. "And all of us have been through high school more than enough times by now. You just may be a welcome relief." She held my hand gently.

"So, we don't die then?"

"Most definitely not easily or naturally. _We're_ pretty sturdy stuff." Her smile widened at my subject choice. "And, unfortunately, sleep's impossible."

My mind continued whirling as I tried to voice its activity, "I have so many questions. I just… I can't focus my thoughts. It's all moving so fast…"

"You'll get used to it. Your mind is a lot sharper now. Everything's going to be brighter, louder, harsher… and I doubt this discussion is helping. You want to be alone for awhile?"

I hesitated before nodding slowly. "Come on, then. We'll get you set up."

She led me through doors in the house connected to empty, non-descript hallways until we came to stop before a final door. "I hope you don't mind," she began a bit sheepishly, "I went ahead and set up a room for you. There's also some stuff from your dad's… Whatever it would have been plausible for you to take."

"Alice, I truly appreciate, but-"

"You can't see it yet. Bella, that's fine. It's ready when you are. So are we," she promised softly. I gave her one last hug before walking inside. Navigating the dark room with my new all-seeing eyes, I flopped down on the unnecessary bed.

As I lay there I focused slowly on relaxing my mind, calming the storm that was my nerves. And I found that as I relaxed, so did the thirst. I must have had my fill. For now…

I wanted answers desperately, but part of me, and a rather large part at that, didn't want to know because it didn't want to believe. Believe that this was happening, that I was here, away from Charlie. That I was _different_. But I was. And each minute I spent not being able to sleep confirmed it. Still, I told myself it wasn't true as I lay there for hours. Only, it couldn't hold up.

Because, suddenly, there was a knock on my door.

Because, suddenly, I heard his voice:

"Bella… May I come in?"

**AN: Does this make me evil? Hope you enjoyed! REVIEW!!!**


	4. Culpable

**Edward: Excuse me, Emily? I do believe it's about time you wrote my return.**

**emamula: *falls off perch on bed in shock* Apparently I'm crazier than _I_ even thought…**

**Edward: Don't be absurd. Everyone who knows you thinks you're that crazy.**

**emamula: Gee, thanks. *rolls eyes and flops back onto bed* As long as you're here, I have an idea for something we could do together… *waggles eyebrows***

**Edward: You're writing a teen-rated story, Emily.**

**emamula: God, dammit!**

**Edward: *glares reproachfully***

**emamula: What? That's teen-rating acceptable! Besides, Alice already said worse!**

**Edward: *groans all deliciously tortured-soul-like* _Don't_ remind me.**

**Alice: Hey now! You deserved it! It's not my fault you choose to whine so much.**

**emamula: Here, here, Alice!**

**Edward: Hey, you're a crazed fangirl! You aren't supposed to agree with that.**

**emamula: But Edward, I just want to take the pain away. *attempts to look completely innocent***

**Alice: *snorts***

**Edward: *glares* Just go write, please, Emily.**

**emamula: Ugh, fine! *opens Word on ever-present laptop* Why do you have to be so damn man-pretty!**

**Edward: You love it.**

**emamula: *hangs head in shame and sighs* I _know_. *begins typing***

**Alice: Well, I'm still awesome! *leaves to go shopping with Jasper***

**emamula: Edward, you sure you don't want to-**

**Edward: Type, Emily.**

**emamula: *huffs and resumes work***

**AN: Yeah… A million lame, yet valid excuses. I won't bore you.**

**I don't own it. However, the Cullen men own me: mind, body, and soul.**

**Thanks to the awesomeness that makes up my betas. The Romanticidal Edwardian, who made me feel like a rock star, for cereal. If you haven't read her stuff, your life is fail. I still love you, though. And cuteblndegoddess, whose story Beautiful was the first FanFic I ever obsessed over. She writes kick-ass Dramione, which I didn't even like before I read her stuff. She converted me! I can't wait till she starts writing Twilight. *happy dances***

**Anyway, they're both amazing.**

**On with the show, lovelies!**

Untimely

Chapter 4: Culpable

"_**Oh, I can see now**_

_**That all of these clouds are**_

_**Following in my desperate endeavor**_

_**To find my whoever**_

_**Wherever she may be**_

_**I'm not coming back**_

_**I've done something so terrible**_

_**I'm terrified to speak**_

_**But you'd expect that from me…"**_

_**Remembering Sunday - All Time Low**_

"_Bella… May I come in?"_

Strange. My heart was dead and cold, resting motionless in my chest since I had awoken. But, as soon as I heard _his_ voice a phantom heart flew inside me. My mind knew it wasn't real, but apparently, my body had no desire to alter its reactions. So it was with this ghost pounding away like abused bongos that I answered.

"Okay," I croaked nervously. But he heard. Of course he would.

He crept around the door frame and it hurt. Hurt to have him standing in front of me. Hurt to look at his face, unimaginably beautiful through my new eyes. A part of me ached to analyze every feature at length, but the other, more rational part slapped it across the face. _Focus, this conversation needs to happen._ And still, we bathed in silence.

"I'm sure Alice is glad you're back," I started lamely, "Are you… staying?"

"That depends, really." His gaze avoided mine fervently.

"On what?"

He gave me an agonizing, yet still somehow annoyed, look that finally connected our eyes. And when they did meet, his gaze was swallowed by the sorrow. "On you, Bella. I wouldn't expect you to want me around after…" He glanced back up into my eyes. I realized why, recalling their chilling scarlet.

"I won't let you do that to your family. They've all been uprooted because of me, the least I can do is make sure you're all together." I whispered nervously and bit back the feeling of guilty tears that would never come to crest. "Stay." Suddenly, a very small part of me wasn't referring to his familial duties. But rational Bella squashed her soundly. "They need you."

"I'm here as long as you want, Bella. No more, no less. I will do my best to help you; try as I might, I couldn't stay away." He walked closer with his reverent words.

"You shouldn't have tried." I could have sworn I saw his heart break with my words.

"I'm so sorry. I thought it was best. I –"

"You're here now. It's okay." And it was. My feelings betrayed rational Bella as they healed me, leaving behind no anger, no resentment, only the knowledge that _he_ was here. That _he_ was dazzling me once again. She knew I had license to scream, shout, hit him, anything to express what he'd taken from me. But that small adversary to my reason refused to allow such an injustice to its emotions. And still rational Bella refused to acknowledge just what those emotions were.

He continued to avoid my gaze, although appearing slightly pacified by my confession.

"Alice mentioned she'd talked to you," he blurted suddenly. His shoes were oddly fascinating to him, and nerves pulled his hands through his hair.

"Yes."

He sighed loudly, desperately seeking an elaboration. What can I say, rational Bella wanted him to work for it.

"Are you going to tell me what was said?" He just looked annoyed now.

I raised an eyebrow in arrogant questioning, "Did Alice?" I laughed as his face puckered in annoyance, and then relaxed at my reaction. He smiled, chuckling softly to himself, a reaction that baffled me. "You're laughing…?"

"I… find you thoroughly… intriguing." He admitted sheepishly. But then, he looked up at my eyes and his gaze flew elsewhere. "Did you have any other questions?"

I hesitated briefly, and before I could get a word in, he cut me off. "Alright then. I have to, um… talk to… Alice."

And he ran out of the room. Ran, as in using all his available inhuman speed.

And then I was alone again.

* * *

I was learning the Alice-isms fast. Mere seconds after Edward fled the room I heard a sound _thwack _and then she bounded in, seemingly determined to evade the funk I was fast approaching.

"We're going hunting," she announced with the full capacity of conviction her tiny form allowed, and then some. She really was quite astounding that way…

"Bella!"

I jerked upright, not even aware I'd let the conversation drop.

"You get used to the mental side trips," she grinned blindingly. "Anyways, we need to get you comfortable with it," she bounded excitedly onto the bed, still landing with grace and precision. "Edward's coming, too."

I'm sure my eyes flickered with something, exactly what I couldn't begin to fathom through my denial. But Alice, of course, skirted over with polish. "We'll show you how it's done," she attempted at a light mood.

My throat flared at the thought of satiation, and Alice had to grab my wrists firmly to pull me back. "Bella," she gazed at me imploringly, "you have to focus. It's going to be hard, as soon as you step outside you'll smell it. There aren't any humans within range, but the animals will be enough. Edward and I will hold you back as best we can, but…"

"I could break away and… smell someone." I sat quietly, nausea and disgust spreading through every part of me. Most of all at the raging blood lust that gripped me at the thought of human blood. And I hadn't even _smelt_ it yet.

"It'll be okay," she soothed. "Just… focus. And work on your breathing. And… keep us in sight." She dropped one of my hands and gently led me with the other to the door. We navigated a hallway I could only assume led back to the front of the house. Edward stood next to the door with a look of grim expectation, and my placidity tripped.

Alice glared at him reproachfully and his face slid into neutral with the fluidity of molten silk. He eased the door open, revealing the whiteness, and we proceeded outside, Alice still holding my hand.

"Edward!" Alice shrilled. And then the smell hit me. My throat flared and my muscles tightened, preparing to seek out the source. My knees coiled to spring, and then two arms wrapped around my waist with vice-like strength, effectively entrapping my arms at my sides.

"No! Let me go! I _want_ it."

Alice called frantically to me, trying to grasp my sanity for me, because I was currently completely incapable. rational Bella was having a hissy fit over my reaction, screaming about the ridiculousness of it all.

"Bella, relax."

It was no more than a breath against the shell of my ear, but his… well, his… _Edward-ness_ packed all the punching of a speeding freight train. My body and mind stilled and all I could focus on was the fact that he was there. So close. rational Bella was about ready to stab the betraying part of me in the eye.

I could feel Alice smirk minutely.

"What do you smell, Bella?" I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to concentrate, and the smells slowly separated until they all appealed in different ways.

"Something earthy, a little musky –"

"Caribou." He named quickly. "What else?"

"Um, something almost… sour –"

"Dall Sheep. One more."

The last scent brought a small sigh of pleasure. "It's sweet, like burnt sugar and fresh fruit and pudding all rolled into one –"

"That would be moose," he grinned amusedly. I whipped around in confusion and he raised his shoulders while maintaining a hold on me. "Don't ask me why. I don't get it either…"

I inhaled deeply, zeroing in on the one scent and my throat resumed its aching and my body tried to lock for a run.

"Patience, Bella. We'll be there fast." With that, he took off running shifting his hold on me to a single albeit strong grip on my arm. The landscape flew past us, the snow under us, and my cheeks stretched in a moment of child-like wonder. With each step the smell strengthened, and I focused intensely on the run, trying to suppress my animalistic urge to simply kill.

When we reached the perimeter of the clearing they occupied, Edward stopped and spoke to me in such a hushed tone, his lips barely moved. "This go around, Alice is going to take care of it for us. We don't want to play with fire," my eyes must have glared as the burning picked up, and he smiled, the jerk, "Sorry, poor choice of words. Watch what she does for now. Then you can either give it a shot now or on the next trip. Whatever you're most comfortable with."

He nudged me in Alice's direction, and she dove into the meadow. Her tiny form landed true atop the back of the first animal, whose neck she swiftly broke. The process was repeated on two additional moose in indistinguishable succession. No pain, not even true fear. Remaining animals fled frantically and Alice let them go, her eyes now a deep, dark shade.

Edward signaled for her to proceed and she knelt to one of the beasts, fastening her mouth to its neck and drawing the blood almost gracefully.

I wasn't quite so successful.

Edward's grip slacked minutely and I was off, ferociously diving for another of the animals' neck. I pulled the sweetness with a complete lack of courtesy, at a speed far exceeding Alice's more gentle composure. I could feel Edward watch me warily before finally beginning to feed himself. My crazed pace sucked the moose dry faster than both Edward and Alice. The animal-like nature remained as my mind proclaimed one thing: _More. So _sweet_._

Although the cognitive side of me felt sated, the feral had me creeping slowly towards Alice, wanting _more_, and perfectly content to fight her for it.

A force like solid steel slammed into my side, sending me flying into a tree some distance away. Then Edward was pinning my shoulders into the bark, snarling at me. "What do you think you're _doing_, approaching a feeding vampire? Are you _dense_?" He punctuated the questions with further pressure on my shoulders, the tree groaning in vehement protest.

The instinctual trance broke, indignation filling the gap. I was just so… so…

_How_ dare _he._

"How _dare_ you." Apparently my anger sapped my originality. "You _left_. Why would you even care? I'm just a burden. You left me to your sister's care, because, what, you couldn't be _bothered_?"

"That's not it –"

"Then what, Edward? I was _scared_. Hell, I am scared. I need help. I need _your_ help."

A sliver of sorrow showed on his face. "I thought leaving would be the right thing to do. I thought –"

"_Why_? How would that _help_?" I narrowed my eyes, focused solely on keeping my nerve to finish this conversation as my insecurities and non-confrontational nature wriggled below the surface. "Why would you think I wouldn't want to see you?"

"Because this is… it's…"

"It's _what_, Edward?" I raged, as my vision reddened at the edges.

"It's _my fault_," his volume and tone leapt to mirror mine. "Why would you want _anything_ to do with me? But you're _here_, and _you_, and _forgiving_ me. And…" He looked into my eyes then, and I witnessed his entire foundation crack. The detachment and indifference fell away, his face the essence of pain and guilt and he fell to his knees. His voice crackled as he continued, "I _can't_ let anything hurt you again, Bella. _Never_."

In that moment, kneeling on the ground, head bowed, Edward was broken.

Something, somewhere whispered: _Fix_.

So, against my conscious thought, against rational Bella's protests, against my confusion, I fell down to him, into him, and our arms wrapped around each other.

Animals moved far off, snow fell, breathing continued, time passed, the earth spun… but my world was still.

Silent.

_Him_.

**AN: REVIEW. DO IT NOW. I derive great pleasure from them.**

**You should all go check out the Temptation podcast as well. Go to temptationtwilight(dot)blogspot(dot)com. You won't be sorry.**


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